December 2012
6 posts
Dec 13th
1,704 notes
Dec 13th
2,384 notes
Dec 13th
183 notes
HA!
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Dec 11th
151,837 notes
Dec 4th
1,657 notes
Dec 3rd
5 notes
October 2012
3 posts
Oct 11th
7 notes
Oct 11th
24 notes
Oct 9th
22 notes
September 2012
8 posts
Sep 20th
67 notes
Sep 20th
20 notes
Sep 20th
187 notes
Sep 19th
278 notes
Sep 19th
18 notes
Sep 19th
363 notes
Sep 19th
4,840 notes
Sep 3rd
33,396 notes
April 2012
2 posts
Apr 25th
38 notes
Apr 20th
5 notes
March 2012
7 posts
Mar 27th
1,735 notes
Mar 27th
1,240 notes
Mar 27th
2,345 notes
Mar 27th
4,398 notes
Mar 27th
909 notes
Mar 27th
2,208 notes
Mar 27th
896 notes
January 2012
2 posts
Jan 2nd
27 notes
Jan 2nd
5 notes
December 2011
12 posts
Dec 9th
41,532 notes
Dec 9th
30,618 notes
Dec 9th
5,898 notes
Dec 9th
151 notes
Dec 7th
1,504 notes
Dec 7th
2,331 notes
Dec 7th
6,504 notes
Dec 7th
2,846 notes
Dec 1st
1,520 notes
Dec 1st
10,145 notes
Dec 1st
3,430 notes
Dec 1st
752 notes
November 2011
1 post
Nov 29th
17 notes